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How to Give Difficult Feedback

Chinua Nelson

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Query Learning to give feedback well is a skill that will benefit business/career people both professionally and personally. Kindly give us tips to discover why these tough conversations are so important, how to prepare for them, and how to handle the emotions that might come up.
Requirements All inputs are welcome. Please include your personal information.
Media Outlet WellnessVoice
Outlet URL https://medium.com/wellnessvoice
Visibility Not Anonymous
My Deadline 10/13/2023 7:00:00 PM, EST
Targeting Business and Finance –General ,
Status Closed – No Longer Accepting Pitches
Query Email query-ftwx@helpareporter.net
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ChelsieKenyon
chelsiekenyon@gmail.com

Giving difficult feedback: Hello there, I am a certified Neurocoach, and Neuro-linguistic Programming
practitioner. I work with women entrepreneurs to help them built their
businesses through mindset, business and language strategy.

Here are a few helpful things to keep in mind about giving difficult
feedback. I have included two different tips, feel free to use either one
or both.

Can’t wait to read your article!

Giving difficult feedback doesn’t have to be difficult. Start by praising
what you love about the work that was done. Be enthusiastic and share in
detail what was done well, or correctly. Then simply add on what you would
like to see changed, updated or completely redone. If the whole thing needs
to be redone, you can start by thinking them for spending so much time on
it, and praise their skills. Then you can explain how you would love to see
it done this other particular way.

If the feedback pertains to a task or project that you requested, it’s
incredibly important to take personal responsibility for what didn’t go
well. Perhaps you were not clear in your explanation. Maybe you didn’t give
enough context. Maybe you needed to make sure that there was more training.
When you start the conversation with taking responsibility for your role in
the situation, it turns the problem issue into a collaborative effort. You
can also look at it as an opportunity for how you can improve your
communication, as well empowering them by inviting them to ask questions in
the future to make sure that they understand what is being asked of them.
This way no one is wrong or right, it’s simply an opportunity for everyone
to learn something.

Chelsie Kenyon
Certified Neurocoach
NLP Practitioner
Brain Coach for Women Entrepreneurs
www.chelsiekenyon.com
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HanneWulp
Communication Wise
hannah@communicationwise.org

HARO response: Query:

Learning to give feedback well is a skill that will benefit
business/career people both professionally and personally.
Kindly give us tips to discover why these tough conversations
are so important, how to prepare for them, and how to handle the
emotions that might come up.

Answer:
Having difficult conversations is important, because it inherently means that the content is significant for at least one of the conversation partners.. They’re tough, because the opinions differ, the stakes are high, and the emotions might run high. It would be so nice if we all agreed at all times, but we won’t. Conflict is a natural part of life, and yet, we are afraid to stir things up and rather ‘keep the peace’. However, that means one person is oblivious/happy, and the other isn’t. And that eventually will ruin relationships.

So, we have to speak up about things that matter to us – and are contentious/controversial.

Here are a few tips to have them well, to at least do your part well:
Prep:

* Get clear on whether the topic means enough; is this really a problem that has to be addressed?
* Is this a one-time occurrence, a pattern, or has this reached the level of trust/respect in the other?
* Find a good moment and spot, in which both are mentally present, and at least somewhat at ease.

How to handle the emotions that might come up:

* Check in with yourself continuously about your current intentions: are you still working on working things out together, or have you digressed into wanting to win the argument/punish the other person? Or have you stopped contributing to the topic, and are you now withholding relevant viewpoints/hiding by giving in?

* Check in with yourself continuously about your feelings/emotions: acknowledge your feelings, but don’t let them dictate what to do next. This helps to stay rational and reasonable. Having a tough conversation doesn’t mean that you’re not safe, or that things won’t be okay later. Help the other person feel safe also: reiterate that you value their work and respect them as a person, and that you’re talking about details, but not their overall performance, and certainly not their worth. If appropriate, mention that you want to continue the collaboration.

* You are responsible for your own feelings, but not theirs. You’ll have to give them space for the emotions they’re experiencing, and be okay with that. You can’t manage them and expect them to change from fearful/angry/sad to instantly happy, and excited because you’ve said what you wanted to say.

* End with an agreement on the follow-up: you care about improvement, and that means you can’t leave them hanging there with a bad review without a clear path ahead about when and how to improve.

Email

Chinua Nelson

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